Ep #25: Celebrating the Journey

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Well, hello, my amazing and beautiful Confident Performers. This is episode 25. 25 episodes, and I want to celebrate the journey as I'm thinking about the 16-year-old me who started in a professional theater, and I just had an idea of what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be based upon something I saw in that little theater.

Then two years later, I got a contract, kept a contract for the next couple of years, and that started my career trajectory. But I thought to myself, by the time I'm 21, I want to be famous. That was my focus, and I didn't even know what that meant. What I really want to do today is I want to celebrate the journey and I want to celebrate my journey. 

I want to share with you some of the things that I've done along the way that have given me the insight that I have and what's been able to help me reflect and share all of these interesting insights into a lot of different perspectives. It's based upon my journey.

My accountant always calls it the scientific study of one. I love that phrase. So in my scientific study of one, and my true celebration of my journey, this is episode 25. I was 16 years old, got that contract, so grateful, so gracious, so in the moment.

So happy to be given another contract and another. I spent about three to four years at that professional playhouse, and intermittently I would take jobs doing makeup art. So I was able to kind of learn that side of the industry as well. I worked for cosmetic counters in our hometown of Bakersfield, beautiful Bakersfield.

Then I was determined, okay, I'm going to move to Los Angeles. My grandparents had lived in LA at the time. So it was going to be a relatively easy transition. I was going to stay with my grandpa for a while. He would help me and kind of set me up. It's funny because I was talking to my assistant the other day, and we were talking about some money strategies and things were changing right now.

It's funny because I remember he managed my money. My grandfather managed my money. I was, you know, I think something happened to my car, I popped a tire or something. I told him that I don't have a savings. I don't have a savings to pay for this tire. This tire is going to be this much money.

He said, “Baby cakes, you have savings.” I was like, I do? He's like, “Yeah, it's set up. So you have the money in there.” I said are you going to tell me how much is in there? He said no. I remember I had zero idea, but it was thousands of dollars that I had no idea. Truly, truly grateful for him and his guidance early on in my twenties especially when I lived with him, and I had to keep the house so, so, so clean.

That was actually very hard to do, but it was such a magical time, and he's in heaven now. I'm sure of it. I say that heaven. I know some people may be in purgatory. But anyway, he is in heaven. I think about that time when I think about my career. 

So that's really me recognizing those parts of the journey right now. At around 21, 20 years old, I had kind of intermittently worked for a management company. Now a manager is different from an agent. So if someone claims to be an agent, they will typically have an agent license and agent registered number so that they could be in the entertainment industry recognized as an agent in the industry.

Now a manager can really be anyone. It could be your mom. That's how you have these momagers out there. It could be your dad. It could be really anyone. Someone could decide, you know what? I'm her manager. I will negotiate her contracts. I'll do all this stuff. 

Well, originally when I moved to LA, I was around like 19, 20 years old. I had a connection with a friend. They offered me a job at an advertising agency in Santa Monica. Really wonderful connection, an amazing job. I remember when I went out there, my friend, my dear, dear friend had died, and they let me go back for the funeral and do all the arrangements for that kind of stuff. I could not shake the funk, and I could not get out of my brain and out of my way.

They basically said, “Hey, we're going to have to refill your position if you can't come back to work.” I stayed in Bakersfield with a dear, dear friend that I love so much. Her name's Lita, and I would call her my mom. She let me just stay with her until I just got out of my brain. Then I ended up going back to LA, but then I didn't have that job. I didn't have the opportunity. So I went back to makeup art again.

After that, I then went into session singing. So I had met someone just through another artist, and it was basically singing songs for artists who get songs. So if you're singing for writers or singing for publishers, you can go in and lay down tracks for writers. So I was doing that for probably about six months while simultaneously, again, doing makeup art. Thank goodness for makeup art.

Then I had a tendency back then to be fired from every position I had had. In that, I learned so many lessons. I reflect back on them often. I share with my listeners that it's so important to make sure that you are paying attention to your relationships, and you are nurturing them. Because before my Idol experience, I was burning bridges left and right.

Now that is due a foundational kind of, I really call it a trauma-based pattern. Well, I call it that because it's absolutely that. It's one of those things where your brain reacts in that subconscious mind in your cyclical conditioned patterns.

Those trauma responses that in my conditioning growing up, I was always afraid, and I was always trying to protect myself. I don't know if it was from hurt, if it was from people, if it was from all the things. It's actually really fun. I'm doing some work and studying on that right now. So I can dig deeper into that in further episodes.

But it is so interesting and so intriguing to me the relationship components and the challenges that I faced during that time. Now I did have a small amount of guidance from my mentor that I referenced, Jess Mercado. He was early on in my life, and it was one of those really interesting energies that was very new to me because I didn't have a guide like that or had never had a guide like that.

So a lot of his delivery was very much like a parent, and it was very much like, “Hey, I care about you. Hey, listen, you have this skill or technique or gift. I'm trying to guide you and help you.” But I had never really had that type of guidance. So it was very unrecognizable to me. So even, again, referring back to the gift that he was in my life has been tremendous. 

But there will be those people, and I kind of look at them as lifelines, throughout your life that will pop into your life and motivate you. They will test you. They will raise you up. They will increase the quality of your game. They will increase your skill level. They will increase your competitive nature for the goodness of yourself and your growth. I want you, in those moments, I know you will feel compelled to stop and fight that, even especially if you've had any trauma-based background, but I encourage you to really savor and appreciate and value those types of lessons.

Now that's the kind of coach I am. So I come in and when I see the possibility or the potential in an artist, I will look and recognize that and I will actively point those things out where they have this exceptional talent or extraordinary ability. We will focus heavily upon building those and increasing those. In that time they will get a massive amount of confidence and sometimes even overly confident. If you stick with me long enough, I end up neutralizing that. So it really, really serves you.

But if you get so, so, so confident and overconfident and really inside your head about a lot of stuff, oftentimes you can be with me and then think okay, well I'm like way better than this. I've outgrown this. I'm on this journey like all my own and it's far bigger than her in this. Then you will just go and switch because we've increased that confidence, but the capacity and the abilities are a little bit off, and it's more a perception based on your ability. So it's more an awareness now of your ability.

Recognize those people in your life, recognize those lifelines in your life because they are so necessary. Throughout my journey, man oh man, I cannot tell you how many wonderful, beautiful lifelines I've had. I think of them as I think of this beautiful 25th episode of my podcast that I wanted to think just a thought, you know, a couple of years ago it was just a thought and now it's a thing. So celebrating that journey.

But in my early twenties, then I really had been fired from a number of the cosmetic jobs that I had had. Then I had worked at the time for Calvin Klein, a relaunch on a line that he had, a makeup line that he had for a long time and then did a relaunch. I was in LA working, and I got to do fun stuff and some behind the scenes stuff and got fired from that job and absolutely from having a bad attitude.

Then I was like, man, what am I supposed to do? So I called a person I had worked with in my early years, and she set me up with a job at an agency. So I was 21 years old. I worked for an agency in LA on Melrose, and it was much more of a fun experience than I actually even gave it credit for. But, again, inside my head, inside my brain, I wanted to be famous myself. So that focus seemed a little off to me, and it didn't feel like I was living my dream.

So I ended up self-sabotaging, something I shared in earlier episodes. As I'm watching my time at that place, I absolutely could have done things so differently. The woman I had worked with and worked for, she was respected in the industry. People knew who she was. It was something I could absolutely have created this mentor/mentee relationship with her, and I would have done very, very well had I stayed on that track. But that wasn't obviously my life journey.

So I gained a lot of information there through working. It was a commercial and theatrical agency. It was good. It was really fun. It was exciting. It was all the things, and I got to meet so many wonderful people. I have a beautiful friend that's still keeping in touch with me from that adventure and journey.

Her name's Dolores Cantu. She's been in the industry forever and she is the owner of Candu Management and a wonderful manager and a beautiful, beautiful woman who just keeps getting more and more beautiful. Again, those lifelines, those relationships that you can end up referring back to, even if the journey doesn't turn out the way that you had hoped.

After that, 9-11 happened, and I remember thinking okay, I wanted to be closer to more people that I knew where I felt safe and different things like that in my brain, obviously. So I went back to Bakersfield. I call those my build years. My build years of, you better get serious, like you better figure your life out.

I remember that I had a boyfriend early on, and his parents were like, you need to go to college. You need to at least do this or do that. I had zero know-how on how to go to college. I had zero college on my radar. My grades were not good. No one was asking me if I was doing my homework. Meanwhile, I was still going to school and barely getting through it. It's one of those things ended up obviously graduating high school, thank you North High, home of the stars. But it was that focus that my brain said, these are the years I'm going to build into that being famous wish, that dream. 

At that time, I was bartending. I was working for other companies and doing makeup art. Thank you to Didi over at Essentials, amazing, brilliant, beautiful businesswoman who took me in when I was fired from Mac. I was a makeup artist with Mac and yeah no, there were a lot of different things there, again. Boom, it's your last day.

Other people took me in. I had a person, Gary Masterson, a beautiful person. They had actually sought out after him, and he ended up saying, “Hey, no, but I do have a friend who can take this job over at Essentials.” Which was a beautiful little day spa in Bakersfield. I worked there for a while until I, and like I said, in the meantime, I was building, and I was working out every day and I was studying and I was focusing on how to be on American Idol. That's what I did.

So that second season two audition, they gave me my information. Pretty girl, pretty face, nothing special about you. Went back home, trained super hard, was committed to making it, made it the year 2004, and was so excited that I had started my journey. My goal was to make it to the top 10. I made it to the top 10 of American Idol, did that, went on the Idol tour with our beautiful idols. I was simultaneously pregnant with my son, and that made it a lot harder on me physically. Shared some of that in my journey as well. 

After that, I was sitting on my couch, offered a contract from Troika Entertainment and the beautiful people over there, amazing people over there. They offered me Joseph, a two-year contract, took that contract, injured about 10 months through that first year, did a vocal rehab for about three years. In that vocal rehab time, that's when I went back to school. That's when I said okay, you have to fill your time for when you can't work. For two, you're rehabilitating your voice, your instrument. I went back to school, filling my time with that.

Then I ended up really focusing on the vocal health component, how to come back, and how to train like an athlete. I was so blessed with the people I got to work with. I got to work with Dr. Sugerman in Beverly Hills and Carol Tingle, Dr. Berke at UCLA, beautiful, amazing people getting you back on your feet to really play the game. So grateful for that time. 

In the meantime, my friend had opened up a professional recording studio, Josh Graham. He asked me, “Hey, will you come here and help me coach and be one of my coaches here and all that?” I was like no, I'm not doing that. But then as I started thinking, you know what? I'll take some here and there. I was, like I said, in the midst of educating myself and going to school and taking classes and learning the voice and doing all the things that obviously I could have done before and didn't. But now it was that. That was my time. I was really focused on the rehabilitation process, and it was timely.

So once I was actually cleared to even have a relative amount of work and vocal work, I was able to start doing that. Then after that clearance, I kind of played it safe for about a year and started coaching and keeping that. Then I did my surgery. 

After healing from my surgery, I knew that I had to go to what was next for myself. My beautiful friend, Louanne Madorma, made an offer for me to come out and work with her in Vegas. Now, mind you, I'm still intermittently focused on doing shows and taking a show occasionally here and there. I was really kind of afraid to get back in those full long-term contracts. The contract that she offered me was a longer contract. I was very grateful. 

Then we kind of just, again, found a way for it to work for my life and where I was and went back into the game nice and easy. I came in on a cover contract and was able to stay on that same or similar contract year to year for five years when I was in La Reve, The Dream in Las Vegas. It was the number one show for many, many years as it ran in Las Vegas. 

Some of the most amazing memories I could ever have with the most amazing people, artists, and athletes that truly are all over the entertainment world today. If you go and you look out and you see, there are so many choreographers and artistic directors and people working out in the industry that worked on that show, and it's just so wonderful to have that connection and collaborative work effort with them and to have been a part of that. A very small part of that beautiful, beautiful pie.

That's when I really started thinking, okay, I'm a grown-up now. Now, mind you, I have two kids at this time, and I had changed relationships. That change in my family style and me wanting to be home. I mean, previously, I wasn't necessarily focused on being home.

Now, I was very happy to be home when I was with Ted. Once I had found Teddy, and we were together and that whole life focus, I had been offered other contracts to come back to be in Vegas for longer terms, and I just didn't want to. I wanted to spend time and be with my man and have that component of my life that really had truly been missing and now was there.

So the evolution of our life, our journey will take so many different shapes in ways that we didn't even know, but it will greatly add to the tapestry of our story. So if we become hyper-focused on the destination and what that looks like, our brain can slow us down. Our conditioning can slow us down unless we are truly stopping to enjoy the journey.

At this time in my life, once I had come back, I was in Bakersfield and that was, nearly a decade ago. I was still in touch with my friend. I was still doing shows. I was still writing. I was still producing. I had produced a few albums, one for myself, some for young artists and had wonderful times doing that.

Now doing a lot of board work. I worked with the KDA, Kern Dance Alliance, board for about five years and was one of the founding board members with them. Such a beautiful blessing in my career and working with Stars Theatre now as their vice president and director of their artistic council and shaping what's next for them and their theater. They've been around since 1969. 

So really kind of keeping that and then growing that has been such a wonderful journey while simultaneously growing Amy Adams Coaching and Consulting while simultaneously supporting non-profit organizations across, honestly, in California, even the United States with some of the other work I've done in Vegas. Growing and being a part of the community and now offering this asset of mine of the journey to my podcast listeners is huge for me.

So as you think of your life as an artist, as you think of your journey, your focus, what being famous looks like, I want you to know your journey is your own. Your journey is something to be celebrated the entire time. That Tony Robbins phrase it's the science of achievement, the art of fulfillment. Having that focus on both is so important to the balance of living a happy whole life.

So in this time that I have been home and nurturing my love and nurturing my family and nurturing all the goodness that has been truly surrounding me in my life that I'm so grateful for, I continue to increase my capacity. I continue to grow my company. I continue to expand on my knowledge and education in coaching. I have worked with so many amazing and brilliant artists in my career.

It's so fun to think that me saying yes to my friend Josh Graham 15 years ago, saying yes to starting to coach, little by little, I have made some of my best friends in life. I have made some of my most amazing growth in teaching others, in mentoring others, in partnering with our mayor and the community to expand and grow programs that support the in our community and the underserved in our community.

I truly would not have changed that journey for anything sitting where I am now. I am so truly grateful. I am so blessed and happy in the work that I've been able to do. I cannot wait to continue to inspire a number of other people who have yet to see what the shape of their journey will look like. I promise you the idea of being famous, the idea of success will look very different than the actuality of your success.

But I promise you, if you stay focused, if you stay determined, if you stay diligent, if you work hard, if you show up for yourself, you love yourself and who and how you are and how you got to where you are in your journey. Embrace the qualities that you think hold you back.

My last episode, embracing that pain is so important. Embracing that trauma-based experience, if you learned in a trauma-based way, love and nurture that part of yourself. Love and nurture that part of your growth. That is one of the most important parts of your journey. It is absolutely a game changer when you can reformat the brain, when you can recreate those neurological pathways of self-love and true confidence that you show up with every single day. Not only in your life, but on stage. 

My beautiful, confident performers, this is your resource. This is where you tap into. It is absolutely 100% within you all the time. Thank you so much for sitting with me on my journey. Take care and be well.

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Thank you for listening to today’s episode of The Confident Performer. If you want to learn more about living your truth and showing up as your most authentic, beautiful self, visit www.amyadamscoaching.com. See you next week!