Ep #22: How to Handle Nepotism as a Performer

Welcome to The Confident Performer, the only podcast that guides ambitious, driven performers and entrepreneurs to show up authentically and confidently both on and off stage. If you are ready to make an impact in your life and community and start living your most amazing, empowered life, you are in the right place. You already have what it takes to make it, you just need to see it. And I’m here to show you how. You ready? Let’s go.

Well, hello and welcome back to The Confident Performer. I want to talk today about something that’s been firing up the internet. And it is very intriguing to me and I love looking at all sides of the components that are part of this interesting public event. And I want to talk about what that looks like in the industry, what that looks like kind of behind the scenes and then what it looks or translates to the people watching or receiving the product.

Now, this is in regard to the stage adaptation of the 30^th anniversary of The Lion King. And people who have looked at TikTok or pretty much anything in the last week or so, found just a lot of different opinions and perspectives on North West performance of young Simba and what that looked like. Now, I don’t really follow all this kind of stuff unless I feel like I emotionally have to. And one of my friends mentioned it and I emotionally had to get involved. So, I had to look at it and kind of see. And then I watched and kind of checked a few different things about people’s perspectives and opinions and I love just all of it.

Now, there are so many things I want to address and talk about because I really think this will help our performers. And each performer listening to this, there’s so many things that you need to know that you may not even know that you don’t know yet. And hopefully this will bring you relative comfort and understanding when you go in, I always refer to playing the game. This game I’m talking about, this whole how to play the game, the things that I give you, the tips I give you, this is the game by their rules. This game is performance. This game is entertainment.

This game is sometimes just TV shows, sometimes it’s just ratings. Sometimes it’s talent and ratings. Sometimes you have no idea what the overall premise of anything is. And sometimes it just ends up being again, a total flop but people want to watch that. So, I’m just going to weigh in. It’s just my opinion. Feel free to comment back to me, give me your insight, your opinion. Don’t hesitate to open up the perspective from your angle or your understanding from things I’m going to share today.

I’m going to share a few things, one of which is that she's 10 years old. And then we’re going to talk about the Nepo Baby debate. So, when they talk about the Nepo Baby debate in the industry, they reference people like Miley Cyrus and her dad, Billy Ray. And it’s a different topic when you have a young Miley Cyrus or even her sister, Noah Cyrus, coming out. And you have this kid who’s able to deliver, really able to kind of step into the talent or the role or what they’re called to do. And Miley Cyrus became a whole thing and Hannah Montana and all that kind of stuff that came with that. But she didn’t fail to deliver on what was required of her.

And for me, any time I think of any time someone really is so disrupted by the casting choices or creatives’ choices or whatever it may be. I always look at it again, what’s the game? What are we doing here? And this 30^th anniversary concert performance, you have people that are brilliant performers. You have some of your original singers from The Lion King, you have Nathan Lane. You have the amazing, brilliant works of Jennifer Hudson, my fellow Idol alum.

And when you’re listening and watching you’re expecting that caliber of talent. And then when you don’t get that comparatively, that’s when you’re disappointed. And someone referenced on TikTok that this was great. This was a great performance if she was a middle school performer but you’re then measuring her against other middle school performers. So, when you look at it then it becomes disruptive to your mindset or the brain. Some people say, “Well, she took a job away from a properly trained, incredible, amazing, brilliant talent in the industry.”

Now, sometimes I really love to consider that because what if they never were going to give that role to anybody else and they had decided, you know what, I want to do something a little different and I’m going to do this. And in the meantime, I’m going to give this person, this artist, creative freedom. So, if they come in and they want to wear a sweatsuit designed to look similar to a lion, they’re able to do that. And then they think, what’s this going to look like, what it’s going to be or it takes on its own shape.

Sometimes there’s that conversation beforehand, before it even happens, before it even goes into rehearsals. And I don’t know the back end of this one so I’m not even going to speak like I do. But there are so many different factors that are involved in that system, not only just in casting, but in creative and what they want and what their overall goals are.

And I personally think that this type of a performance, and especially if it’s for TV, any controversy around it and any controversy of what the performers are doing or what they’re capable of doing or what they are not capable of doing. I mean, we’re expecting the majority of these things to go off without a hitch. That’s what professional is. That’s what that industry A player looks like, is going off without a hitch. This is what we do. This is what we do well. And that’s what people pay to see.

So many people were fired up because people did pay to see that. People did pay to see an amazing, brilliant performance, and I’m sure collectively they did. But this conversation around her inability to deliver is, I think, a real one that does absolutely need to be had and addressed. Now, I want each person to stop and think right now, if you’ve been performing for years or if you’re brand new to the game. I want you to think about a time where you potentially tried out for something and then you thought to yourself, I really want that role.

And I deal with it often. I'm sorry this stuff makes me chuckle pretty heavy because I talk with my young performers about this so often and even in our little community, I love our community. I love our theaters around here and I love the people. I love that people are working to be better and people are working to get out there and get more parts and be seen and do all the things here in our community. I always tell my artists that I work with, “Listen to me. When shows are selected, people have an idea in mind of what they can do based upon the players that they currently have.”

We hope, now, mind you, I’m on an Artistic Council. So, I’m a vice president of a community theater here in my hometown. And the Artistic Council we have created allows that council to have a group of people selecting shows and weighing in from different parts of the community. I think it’s a really great progressive way to look at the artistic director position. And that’s what we did. We opted to go and get a team of people, making these choices so that more people felt included, more people felt seen. More people feel as though they can make our community theater their home and really, truly feel like it is community based and founded.

And we’ve been around since 1969 and the founder of that, Jim Fillbrandt, recently passed away. So, carrying on his, more or less his hope and desire for what he wanted to offer the community, which is great theater with also great food and an amazing atmosphere, and the best that there was to offer in town. Now, the fun part is, when new organizations come and new players come into the game, they can up your game and I love that. I love that for us. I’m not a competitive mindset person. I’m an abundance mindset person.

So that for me doesn’t feel threatening when more people come into the game. It encourages me to up my game. But I tell each one of my artists, “Be aware, every single show that is selected is selected with players in mind.” Every show that a director decides on, I’m going to apply for this, see if we get it, they have their person in mind that potentially this person could play this. And sometimes you want to have it all planned out and you want to have it relatively open and available and you hold auditions no matter what.

And some people will say, “Well, why did they hold auditions if they were just going to fill this part with their person anyway?” And sometimes that’s just how it is. You can have an idea, you can think, hey, we can put this person in there. Sometimes you have conflicts. Those dates don’t work. Different things happen. And so, it’s really important that you as artists listen to this information, understand that that’s already a preset thing. The quicker you can accept this, the easier it is for you to be at peace with what unfolds, regardless of how hard you work.

And I referenced the internet buzzing about people saying, “Well, they took away this job from amazing, brilliant performers.” Maybe that was never their job to even have, and sometimes that’s truly the case. I think about this, it’s funny because when my artists will go and they’ll go out for the lead, I’ll say, “Who’s the director?” I hear the information and I kind of chuckle and I think, okay. And I’ll tell him, “Listen to me, sweetie, don’t get your hopes up. And if you do, keep your focus up and your hopes centered.”

Your hopes are not, I’m going to be the lead because I promise you, if the director’s son or daughter goes out for that same part, that’s probably not your part to have. Now, is that fair? I put a question mark, absolutely, who knows if that’s fair. Is that right? Is it just? Is it something that we should openly talk about or conversationally talk about or just lay claim that sometimes it’s fair and sometimes it’s not fair?

Sometimes if I have an artist and I’m working on a project and I’m doing a show and I’m the director. If I have worked with the artist that I place in that lead position and it’s down to the person I know and the person that is really, really good in front of me, but I’ve never worked with before. I will consider the person that I know, that I trust, that person may have an advantage in that moment. If someone completely blows them out of the water, talent wise, their resumé is insane, their work ethic that’s visible in front of you is just absolutely undeniable, then I will give them that opportunity.

That new person I’ve never worked with because what they’re showing me or what is in front of me are the things that I need to see. And there was a person that referenced, you can see that North West didn’t even appropriately practice or rehearse for this. And honestly, you never know what their actual rehearsal looked like. They could have rehearsed non-stop. They could have rehearsed at home over and over and over and over again. And she could have very well have been like, “Man, I’m it, I’m on top of my game right now. I’ve never been better. I’ve never felt better.”

And Kim and Kanye and I’m sorry, I think it’s Ye now. He very well could say, “Hey, I’ll help you or I won’t help you or hey, this is your own thing and you just do this baby girl. You do this on your own. You figure this out.” And who knows, again, who knows behind the scenes what’s actually going on. But what I want to say is, that seeming lack of effort appears when you are around professionals, that’s the thing.

So, when you go to a community theater and you see a lot of performers and you have a professional performer in a show, you can see a divide. Ideally, the community theater that you’re performing in helps these others raise their game. I’m going to tell you though, there is massive pushback when you have a professional performer in a community performance. There is a great divide and the great divide oftentimes is people’s insecurity.

So North West being in this scenario, how often do you think she’s walking around feeling ultra and secure in her life with the parents who have this vibrational industry status at where it is? Who knows? So, she’s probably very familiar with what goes on, what people say about her mom potentially, what people say about her dad potentially, now what people are saying about her. So, she is a child. I always think they’re, in my opinion, trying their best. They’re doing their personal best. And everybody’s journey is different. Letting that journey be what it is, is one thing.

There was a reference about internet trolls coming at her as a 10 year old. I’m going to tell you, that is a true thing. That is a true, true thing and we cannot escape it. We cannot avoid it. We’re very aware of it. But her dad is the ultimate troll when it comes to trolling, straight up trolling award shows when people win, grabbing the mic and talking about who should have been the winner.

So, I personally think if that level of disrespect is a precedent and then their child comes out, mind you, he set that precedent and that level of disrespect, their child comes out, they’re going to get some crazy backlash. People sitting behind computers, people trolling, people sharing their opinion, they’re going to get it. It comes with the territory. So, I want everyone to be focused on the realism that is absolutely going to come with being in the industry. There’s so much conditioning that happens.

How much do you listen to? How much do you take in? And again, getting yourself to this super strong self-concept where you know what you stand for, you know what you are. It’s so much easier to accept that criticism is out there. People have opinions. People are entitled to them just like this, this is an opinion based piece. I’m sharing my opinion based on my foundations and beliefs and perspective with you. So, considering how you take it, you accept it, I hope that it comes in as something again, that’s comforting as far as information of let’s be real, people.

Let’s be aware that if we can have the publicity and the names and potentially the monetary support behind a project and we’re able to do that. Whether that’s a publicity stunt. Whether that is something that allows this thing to go viral. Whether that is something that you’re going to create a palpable vibrational information exchange before it even comes out. That’s what the game is. That is the name of the game. You want people to watch the thing. You want people to go to the show. You want people to pay the money to see the thing. You want people to tune in. That’s what this is about. That’s what entertainment is about.

So, is it that this person has to be the end all be all of singers and performers? No. Can you visibly see if you watch any videos that that was the case with North West, she is not a gifted and talented performer? She is not a gifted and talented persona. You can see, and if you’re watching and again, that’s a perspective, that’s my opinion. But I work with brilliant artists, brilliant performers and so me seeing that. I was just at my daughter’s school talent show and wonderful little kids, beautiful singers. There’s going to be some great divides.

I see a ton of beautiful little singers, but they’re missing stage presence, but they’re missing confidence, but they’re missing the overall way of showing up as a character. They are missing the entertaining component. They are missing the component that separates them from the audience as far as we’re not watching people out in the audience. We’re not thinking about what they’re thinking about. We are just performing. So, there’s a lot of things that we could clean up nice and easily. And there’s a lot of things that they will just learn along the way. So that’s all in all my kind of final information on that.

So, when I say to you, my brilliant, beautiful, amazing, confident performers, when you audition for a show and it’s down to you and the director’s kid, I want to tell you, did you not get the job because you are a no talent hack? Or did you not get the job because you didn’t know the right person? I want you to consider that. I want you to not get down on yourself. I want you to take every single job, every single opportunity as something for you to learn from. You get to decide how you do this life. You get to decide how you feel about yourself after an audition.

I promise you, if you take the information and don’t make excuses. So don’t decide to not prepare because you know that the director’s kid’s auditioning or you know that the owner’s kid is going to potentially audition for the same part you are. Prepare. Be prepared. Do the thing. Do the work that you are supposed to do. Show up how you want to show up. Do not compare yourself. Prepare yourself. Be ready for what is next. Be ready for what you want. Build your skill. Practice your skill. Maintain your skill. And I promise you, your opportunities are waiting for you. They are waiting.

People in casting and creative want to give the job to someone talented, want to give the job to someone prepared. They want to give the job to someone who can do all of the things. And if they just so happen to have a major following because of who their parents are, fantastic. So, this is to say, absolutely nepotism exists in any single professional realm. Being oblivious to that or being surprised by that will not help you. Be aware that that exists and it’s out there. I’m not even saying I don’t believe in it as far as I don’t believe that it’s the right or wrong thing.

I am saying that I personally think if you have someone that you’ve worked with, I have an artist, a few artists that I’ve worked with pretty much their entire young career. And if I have an opportunity to cast them, I will because I know how they work. And I know that the level of trust that I have in them and they have in me is so strong that it will make our result exactly what it needs to be. So, take all of this information, assess it, what does it mean to you. Share your information and feedback with me at amyadamscoaching.com. And feel free to share any of your insights and input with me on my social media as well.

I will have a confidence campaign coming up in the month of my birthday. And I will be giving away an hour every single week of confidence coaching from my brilliant, beautiful performers that have tuned into this. So, I’ll tell you how you can sign up for that, but in the meantime, please, take care and be well.

If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, you can follow the show wherever you listen to your podcast. And if you haven’t already, I would really appreciate it if you could share the podcast with others who you think would benefit from it and leave a rating and review to let me know what you think now. Now, it doesn’t have to be a five star rating, although I sure hope you love the show. I want your honest feedback so I can create an awesome podcast that provides tons of value. Visit amyadamscoaching.com/podcastlaunch for step by step instructions on how to follow, rate and review.

Thank you for listening to today’s episode of The Confident Performer. If you want to learn more about living your truth and showing up as your most authentic, beautiful self, visit www.amyadamscoaching.com. See you next week!