Ep #26: Inside the Mind of a Young Performer

Ever wonder what goes on in the mind of young performers? Well, we are here to discover that with my scientific study of one with my own amazing, brilliant daughter. Stay tuned for episode 26 of The Confident Performer. 

Welcome to The Confident Performer, the only podcast that guides ambitious, driven performers and entrepreneurs to show up authentically and confidently both on and off stage. If you are ready to make an impact in your life and community and start living your most amazing, empowered life, you are in the right place. You already have what it takes to make it, you just need to see it. And I’m here to show you how. You ready? Let’s go. 

Amy: Okey dokey. So hello. My sweet guest today is my beautiful daughter, Emery Lake Miller. I wanted to have her on the show. I coach young performers who are very focused, very driven, very competitive. It's interesting because sometimes I think to myself okay, should I be coaching my own daughter? I reached out to a friend, somebody I respect in the industry, and ideally she would be coaching with somebody else because it is a little bit challenging coaching your own child. I like to create that separation, and she really has a very strong work ethic. 

She's nine years old. I'm going to dig into some performance sides with her today. I let her know that if she was not as dynamic as she needed to be, that I would kick her off the show. So I want to introduce my sweet daughter, my sweet little nine-year-old Emery Lake Miller. Emery, say hello. 

Emery: Hi.

Amy: Thank you so much, first and foremost, for being on the show today. So we're going to talk a little bit about performing. We're going to talk about the training regimen. We are going to talk about the things that you love to do when you are a performer. We're going to talk about really what got you started performing and how you feel about it today. Okay. So first and foremost, how do you like being trained by your mother? 

Emery: It's awesome because in my class I get to learn how to sing, and I get to sing some of my favorite songs, and I get to perform them. It's awesome. I get to meet new friends and that's like the best part. 

Amy: So you have a sweet little friend right now or sweet little friends in your class that you love? 

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: Yeah. What are their names? 

Emery: So there's Hannah, there's Sam, there's Harlow, there's London, and there's Kaylee. Kaylee's my ultimate. 

Amy: What makes her the ultimate for you?

Emery: So my mom loves her. She'll be like you need to start hanging out with Kaylee more. I'm like of course. She's like just so kind.

Amy: = She's a very kind girl. Very kind, very funny. We love her. Okay. So when you think about performing, what is your favorite thing to do when you are performing? As a young performer, I know how you study. I know how rigorous your study is. What's your favorite thing to do? Like why do you perform? 

Emery: I just love singing. It's like a habit of mine. I sing in class sometimes and some kids are like Emery, stop. I'm like oh, fine.

Amy: Are you ever singing and like not knowing that you're singing? Like do people like look over at you and are like hey, can you please be quiet? 

Emery: Sometimes.

Amy: Yeah. That has literally happened to me my entire life. I remember going through the grocery store and people would just be staring at me, and I'm thinking, what is their deal? Like what is going on? Then every now and again, people would be like you are really, a really good singer. I'm like oh sweet heavens to Betsy. Okay. Was I singing? Oh, very fun. Okay, cool. All right. So nine years old, when did you start performing? 

Emery: When I was about like seven.

Amy: What was your seven-year-old performance? 

Emery: Well, it was for Garden Pathways. It was a joy.

Amy: What made it a joy? 

Emery: It was just so much fun singing in front of people and sharing my beautiful voice with other people.

Amy: One of the things I like about you when you sing is you get super passionate. You get really passionate. You get really immersed in the story. You close your eyes. You really actively engage not only in the story, but then oftentimes you'll open your eyes and then you'll look back at the people and sing to them like you're singing the story to them. What are you thinking about in your mind when that's happening? When you're on stage, you see people out in the audience. You know they're watching you. What are you thinking about? 

Emery: I'm just thinking about, Emery, you can do this. Your part's coming up. You have to sing. I can't freeze. I don't want to let my team down.

Amy: Really good. So with the Rising Stars, you know that's your team. You do not want to let your team down.

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: All right. Stay awake. This is where you give the kids the go-go juice or whatever. Give the kids the Starburst or -- 

Emery: That’s a thing?

Amy:  The lemonades or whatever. I think that's a thing.

Emery: Go-go juice.

Amy: I can't remember what it was, but I think it might be Honey Boo Boo or something.

Emery: Honey Boo Boo?

Amy: Yes. I'm going to show you. Okay. When we are done recording this podcast, there was this little chick, and her name was Honey Boo Boo, and she did like pageants and different things like that. Her mom or I can't even remember. I might be mixing up or making up things, but they would keep their energy up when they were doing the pageants and have them like smile, and they would give them stuff like their go-go juice. I think it was like Mountain Dew and different things. 

Emery: I do like some of my Mountain Dew. 

Amy: You drink Mountain Dew?

Emery: Sometimes.

Amy: When?

Emery: Sometimes when I go to fast food.

Amy: Oh my gosh. Does your dad let you order that?

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: Okay. Because you know I don't let you order that.

Emery: You let me order Sprite. 

Amy: Yeah. The whole Mountain Dew bit is like this extra caffeine, and they give it to kids. 

Emery: Wait, there's caffeine? 

Amy: Yes. Yeah. So, they give it to kids, and the kids stay energetic obviously until they crash. So you're going to want to stay away from that caffeine, also known as Honey Boo Boo's go-go juice.

Emery: What is this?  

Amy: I can't wait to show you. Oh, a whole new world. Oh, wait. All rights belong to Disney on that. Okay. So going forward, what we're going to talk about is what was your favorite performance so far? So being young, knowing that you're going to sing with the Rising Stars, knowing that you're not going to let your team down, you say hey, my part's coming up. You sing with passion. You sing with intensity. What has been your favorite performance to do and why? 

Emery: My last one because I got a really, really good part and I was so excited to sing it.

Amy: So tell us what that was. 

Emery: So it was Unstoppable, and I got the main part. I told myself you can do this, Emery, don't let your team down. I did it.

Amy: What did you think about, when your part was coming up, what were your thoughts?

Emery: I didn't really think about anything. I was like I got to stop here and start singing there.

Amy: So it's more methodical. It's more like we breathe here. We stop here. We go here. We sing here. I love that about you. There are some performers that start very young, very methodical. It ends up making you a very, very strong performer later on in your career. So that was a highlight singing unstoppable. What are some of your favorite songs to sing and why?

Emery: My favorite songs that I've done before is probably, it was a single show. It was actually kind of like my last performance with my group class. It was All I Want by Olivia Rodrigo. I just memorized it, and I just, I felt it.

Amy: You did. So it was like singing about true love and stuff like that, right? So is that something you thought about when you were singing, or did you think of something different?

Emery: I had to know the timing when to start the song, and I had to know the words to a song. If I messed up, I messed up. I don't be like everybody I messed up. Oh no.

Amy: Yeah. What happens when you mess up? What do you try and do when you mess up?

Emery: Act like it didn't happen and just make it a part of the song.

Amy: Yeah. Act naturally. Like that's my jam. That's how I roll. That's actually how I sing this song because Olivia Rodrigo is not here. Right? 

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy:  Yeah. That's right. What if she was there? What if she was watching you? Would you fangirl?

Emery: I would love it.

Amy: You have a performance coming up. You have a performance, July 12th. What are you preparing for that? 

Emery: I'm preparing this hard song that 's called Requiem. It's from -- 

Amy: Dear Evan Hansen.

Emery: It's like a lot of breath and a lot of high parts. It's just, it's a lot.

Amy: It is a lot. You know what's a lot is when you start practicing this song and rehearsing the song over and over and over and over again. Do you remember the night where you stood on the ottoman, and you sang it over and over at the top of your lungs until about midnight?

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: How do you think that is for me as your mom? Do you think I like that? Do you think I enjoy that?

Emery: No. 

Amy: I love it.

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: Oh my goodness. When you think about your life and your career going forward, like why are you training? Why do you care about being a young performer right now? Like why are you doing this? 

Emery: Because I just love standing up and singing for everyone.

Amy: Why? 

Emery: Because it's showing them what people can do. 

Amy: And what they're capable of.  So there's no right or wrong answer with these. So it's more just about like your opinion. So when you are standing up there and you are singing like what's it for? What's it all for?

Emery: It's just to show them that I've been rehearsing and waiting for this moment like all year sometimes or all month. 

Amy: All month. So like if someone's like boo, you're a no talent hack, kid. Like you suck. Like what do you think you would do?

Emery: I wouldn't really care because if people say something nice, I would love to take it. But if people say something rude, I would block it out. How hard do you think actually blocking out something rude is? Is it easy? Is it hard?

Emery: It's easy if you know how to do it. 

Amy: Tell me how.

Emery: It's just you don't really think about it, and you just tell yourself that's not true.

Amy: Yeah. Are you ever afraid, like say you did mess up and say you knew, for example, it wasn't your best performance. Then what if somebody did say something negative to you? Like what would happen then? 

Emery: I tried my best.

Amy: So you tried your best, and that's really all we can do, right?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Do you ever feel I get tough on you sometimes?

Emery: Oh, totally.

Amy: Yeah. Tell me why. Why do I get tough on you?

Emery: Because she wants to train you, and she'll go hard on you because she knows that you can do it. She'll do different levels. So like if she hears you on like a song, and you do super good, she'll push you and push you and push you until you get it perfect. 

Amy: I've given you that information. Why do I end up pushing an artist?

Emery: Because she knows that you can do it.

Amy: That's typically the thing. Like when I work with incredibly talented young artists, I will find this kind of magic to them. Now you, you have that. You have this star quality, have a really fun magic about you. It's one of those things where I know if you continue to train and hone your skill, really double down on the training of your craft, you will be incredible. Now, is this something that you think you want to do as a career?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Why?

Emery: Because I've been doing it for a really long time, and I just love standing up in front of people and singing.

Amy: Yeah. Could you think about maybe paying your bills like this?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Yeah. What else would you want to do if you weren't a singer?

Emery: I would probably want to be a doctor so I could help people.

Amy: What kind of help?

Emery: Like so if something bad happened, I could keep them safe because I'm a doctor.

Amy: So like an emergency doctor, a medicine doctor, like internal medicine doctor, or like a regular doctor that you have a sore throat and then they come in, and you help them.

Emery: Yeah, probably that. I would want to help little kids. 

Amy: Little kids? Why little kids?

Emery: Because some of them are so cute and nice and some of them are little sassy divas.

Amy: We saw a few of those little sassy divas out and about today, huh?

Emery: Yeah. 

Amy: When we were playing at the pool. Okay. So if we're sharing some of your highlights of your young career, what is that? What are your highlights of your young career?

Emery: My highlight is just singing. It's just so much fun.

Amy: Well, okay. So now you get to ask me some questions.

Emery: Okay.

Amy: What would you want to ask me? Anything about coaching, about training, about why I do what I do, any of that.

Emery: Why did you start singing?

Amy: Why did I start singing?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: I started singing because I too loved it when I was young. I was about nine years old when I really kind of started realizing I was good at it. I really started realizing like wow, I'm really pretty good at this. That's kind of what I did. I started, and I remember my mom saying like yeah, you're so good and all that kind of stuff. 

So I started, and I did a local competition where Star Search, which was a competition show, came to Bakersfield. Star Search came to Bakersfield. I auditioned and was shaky and so weird and awful. I say so weird and awful because I had no training. I had the face, like I don't know, almost like I had been kidnapped and someone was like you better sing, kid, or you don't get supper. It was one of those very, very scary moments.

It stuck in my brain. It created this absolute groove in my brain of some serious, intense nerves. I can remember every now and again, even when I talk about it. But that's kind of really when I started. Then I found out that I loved it. I just loved doing it. Then each time I saw a show or saw somebody do something, I always thought okay, this is impressive. I love this. I want to do this and kind of see where this could take me. 

So I started, and I saw my first professional theater show when I was 14. Then I started working at that same professional theater when I was 16. Then the rest is history. I just talked about that in my last episode.

Emery: What was that theater?

Amy: That theater was called the Melodrama Musical Theater. It started as the Vaudeville Express Melodrama Theater. There are two Melodrama theaters left, I believe, in California. It was a sweet little professional playhouse, and the people who owned it and ran it were super awesome and really cool. I keep in touch with it to this day and it's pretty awesome.

Emery: Why did you start coaching and consulting?

Amy: Okay. I started coaching and consulting when I got injured when I was on tour. I basically had to figure out the study of my voice, my machine, more or less. So I started that when I got vocal clearance. My friend Josh Graham asked me if I could help him out at his sound recording studio. So I did. I started doing that. I've met some of my best friends like that.

Emery: Who are those best friends?

Amy: Auntie C. Auntie C was one of our best friends, my best friends. Now, obviously, your god mom. Just the journey along the way, I've met so many amazing and brilliant people and got to work with so many amazing and brilliant people. I love it. 

Emery: I have one question.

Amy: Yes. 

Emery: Do you like me asking you questions?

Amy: Do I like it? Yeah, of course. But don't hesitate. Don't be shy. Like come at me. Like give me some of your Emery flair. Give me some of your Emery vibes.

Emery: Have you ever been a sassy diva?

Amy: Yes. You know good and well I've been a sassy diva. You know good and well that there have been times where I have to actually try and control my sassy diva-ness. Am I right, or am I right?

Emery: You're right.

Amy: You're right, girlfriend. You're right. Okay. What else? Give me some more. Come on, Emery.

Emery: What do you love about teaching?

Amy: Oh, man. What do I love about teaching? I love being able to see a person's potential and being able to see their current capacity or basically like where they are and then being able to close the gap from their functioning capacity to their potential capacity, which means like where they get to go to, how great they can be, how incredible of a performer they can be. I love to be the coach to close that gap. I feel blessed that I get to do that.

I feel that I get this amazing journey with these young artists, and we create this really special bond that they understand that I'm on their team, that I have their back, that I'm literally one of their absolute biggest fans, and that I love them and embrace them along the journey. I embrace their ups and downs and their goods and bads. That has been probably the greatest blessing of my entire life. I mean, other than having children like you and your brother and stuff.

Emery: I want to share a little story about how and why I started singing.

Amy: Okay, go for it. 

Emery: So when I was little, my mom showed me this cute little video. I was in a little pig towel, and I was in my mom's lap, and me and her were singing Let It Go. I had that baby voice, and then I stopped, and then I started again, and then I stopped, and then I started again, and then I stopped, and then I started again.

Amy: We were doing a riff. I was getting ready for a show, and so we did a riff like a, do you remember that one? Do you want to try that?

Emery: Okay.

Amy: Yeah, that. Okay, no, try it not smiling. Yeah, okay. So that's kind of fun, just taking that riff and then. It's a long riff though. So we would break that down. Our friend Natalie Weiss would break that down, breaking down the riffs, baby. So when you think about that, you look kind of back to that video. Do you think that was so cute? 

Emery: Yes.

Amy: I know, me too. Okay, another question. Give it to me.

Emery: Why do you love your job?

Amy: Why do you think I love my job?

Emery: Because you get to meet fun friends like Alex Neal.

Amy: Yes, that's true. Alex Neal is a fun friend. That's a funny thing to say. Yes, fun friends like Alex Neal. There's lots of reasons why I love my job. When you think about my job, what is my job?

Emery: You coach and consult. Then you teach people how to sing. You actually sing yourself because you have your own band. Oh, and you're also a podcaster.

Amy: Yeah, so I enjoy doing that. It's fun. I get to really kind of share the stories of my life and hopefully guide performers. Do you ever see yourself as a grown up, like a grown up, beautiful Emery Lake? 

Emery: Yes.

Amy: You do? What are you doing when you're a grown up?

Emery: Singing. 

Amy: You are singing?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Yeah, on a big stage, on a little stage, on a college stage. What are you doing? Where are you singing?

Emery: On top of the world. 

Amy: On top of the whole world, like a globe?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Sister, come on now. You really do? 

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Like that's your visual? Like you're like I'm standing on top of the world. 

Emery: I think. I'm on a big stage, and I'm thinking I'm on top of the world tonight.

Amy: We have all of these songs we are singing, and we absolutely do not have the rights to. I don't know what we're going to do about that. Let's talk about things that inspire you. So when you look at inspirational things, whether that's movies, artists, people that you follow, that you love their music, who are you inspired by?

Emery: Well, do you want me to give you a list? 

Amy: Yes, of course I want you to give me a list. How else would I know? 

Emery: So there is Renee Rapp and then there's Sabrina Carpenter, who I love, love, love. There’s [inaudible].

Amy: Okay.

Emery: Then there's Olivia Rodrigo, there's Taylor Swift, and then there's this girl named Amy Adams.

Amy: Was that the one from Enchanted? 

Emery: No.

Amy: Nah.

Emery: She sings Never Looking Back.

Amy: Okay. So what's your favorite thing to listen to in the car with me?

Emery: Probably Ellie Goulding.

Amy: Ellie Goulding. Does Ellie Goulding inspire you as well?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: Why?

Emery: I just love the core of her singing.

Amy: She's so good, right? She's one of my ultimate faves. My faves, babe. Okay. When you watch TV, who are some of your favorite writers or directors or actors?

Emery: Adam Sandler.

Amy: Adam Sandler. We love Adam Sandler. Who else?

Emery: His wife.

Amy: His wife. Oh, yeah. You love his wife. You're a fan of his wife's too.

Emery: Probably Cameron Boyce.

Amy: Yeah.

Emery: He died in 2018, which is super sad, but he was in my favorite show, Jessie.

Amy: He was super awesome. Mindy Kaling. You love her.

Emery: Yes, I do.

Amy: Yeah. Love, love, love. Anybody else that you watch and you think, I'm really inspired by them. I love their choices. I love the way they act. I love all of their things. Anybody else that sticks out?

Emery: Am I missing something?

Amy: I don't know. I don't think so. 

Emery: Because I only know a few actors' names.

Amy: We like Ariana Grande.

Emery: I love Ariana Grande. 

Amy: Yeah.

Emery: Actually, she's also in another one of my favorite shows, Sam and Cat and Victorious.

Amy: Okay. If you think about life, where do you find your inspiration outside of movies and outside of that? What else do you love to do? What else inspires you?

Emery: I love acting.

Amy: What do you love about acting?

Emery: I love that I could just stand on stage and just memorize parts. Sometimes there's musicals, which I was in a musical. I was Liza in Peter Pan.

Amy: Did you feel like you were the ultimate housekeeper?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: You did?

Emery: Yeah.

Amy: You were very committed to your work. You were very practiced. All right. So I think that's going to wrap this up. Unless you have any more questions for me that you think can really help young performers. Because ideally we had this conversation, and this not only helps performers, but it helps parents. We think about being dynamic, and we think about being entertaining. 

Do you think that you are a dynamic, entertaining person or you just think that you're a regular gal and you're nice and relaxed and you can turn on the charm? Or what are you? How do you?

Emery: I can turn on the charm.

Amy: You can turn on the charm? Okay. If you're turning on the charm, what does it sound like if you turn on the charm?

Emery: Well, I change a lot of words to sassy divas or cuties or besties. Do you want me to name all of them?

Amy: No.

Emery: Oh, my God.

Amy: I don't even know what you're talking about. Okay. Okay. All right. You know what, everybody? That's enough of that. So when you work with young artists, you work with young performers, I wanted to share that side of being able to work with young performers, work with young artists, but then also showcase that there's absolutely a perspective where they're going to hit the ceiling on. 

So they're going to hit the top of their threshold of this is the amount of information they're going to share. It's going to be direct. It's oftentimes going to be to the point. It's going to be when we reference dimensions, it may just be a one dimensional. It's usually in this realm of learning the joys in the artistry, it becomes one dimensional. Then the expansion on that grows over time. 

So working with my young daughter, working with her and having the chance and the ability to really kind of pour into a young artist who cares about the craft and is not doing it because I'm making her do it. It's interesting when I'd say she comes home, she got a part, she came home, and she had all these lines. They had to memorize the lines in the entire week. They got the script on Monday, and did the show on Friday. She had her lines memorized literally by the next day. She had multiple lines, she had songs, she had choreography. 

That type of intensity is impressive to watch someone who naturally genuinely wants to do it by themselves. That's the way they want to do it. They love waking up and doing the thing because that's what drives them is the actual love behind the work. 

So my beautiful people, my beautiful friends, if you are forcing your children to be performers, first and foremost, don't. Second of all, your kiddos that are actively wanting to be potentially in the industry when they are grown up will strategize a little bit. They will go into that whole work side of the game. 

If you hear her explanation on a lot of these things, the aspect of her going in, learning the songs, training, practicing, going over and over and over, knowing that her team is counting on her, not wanting to let them down, not wanting to let herself down, but also not taking herself too seriously, that is the magic of the growth. That's the magic of the journey. That is the beautiful evolution of a fine young artist in a long, long career. That's the fun part of all of it. There are so many gifted and talented artists out there. 

So first and foremost, really your young performer, if they begin training and they want to be diligent in their life and in their world, give them the support that they need. As parents, I always say hire a coach. Hire a coach who will absolutely pour into your child, be their biggest fan, but also simultaneously does not allow for shoddy work, does not allow for them to not sing on pitch, does not allow for them to make up words to songs if they are just not learning their words. Find someone who holds your young artist accountable and still guides them beautifully through their journey. 

Thank you all so much for tuning in, for listening, for listening to my journey and the journey of my young performer and a little peek inside to a young performer's brains. Thank you so much. Take care, be well, and go and be seen. 

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Thank you for listening to today’s episode of The Confident Performer. If you want to learn more about living your truth and showing up as your most authentic, beautiful self, visit www.amyadamscoaching.com. See you next week!